‘Don’t walk past the Gutter Bar’: The unofficial Cannes Lions survival guide, written in hindsight

Have a talk with yourself before you step onto the Croisette: for one week, otherwise rational adults will become strangely obsessed with who got invited where, who’s on the yacht, who’s at the hottest dinner, and whether they’re on the list. Don’t get sucked into the high school dynamics of it all. The people who get the most value out of Cannes aren’t chasing validation; they’re building relationships. Five days from now you’ll be back home worrying about deadlines, family, pets, and why your summer utility bill is outrageous — and the party everyone was talking about today is forgotten. The value of Cannes isn’t being seen at the right party, it’s leaving with ideas and relationships that still matter once everyone is back on Zoom.

Simon Stone, GM International at LoopMe

Don’t walk past the Gutter Bar on the way home anytime after midnight (especially if you have early morning breakfast meetings) as you will get sucked into a late night of drinking and will struggle to escape before 3 a.m.!

Martin Corke, CMO at Bauer Media Outdoor U.K.

Whilst I’m no fashionista, I noted that most middle-aged white men wore almost identical Cannes wardrobes, with a heavy serving of linen. The following year or two I thought, why not stand out a little and I purchased a selection of loud, Hawaiian style shirts. My kids referred to them unkindly as my personality shirts! Anyhow, they kind of worked but I also felt a little uncomfortable. It wasn’t just the micky taking from colleagues. I’m no extrovert. So since then, I’ve dialed it down on the fashion front with wise and welcome advice from my wife.

Andy Oakes, CEO and co-founder of Bluestripe Group

About 10 years ago, my employer sent me to Cannes carrying 4000 Euros in an envelope as there was a credit card issue for the team already out there.

I went with the best intentions of distributing cash and popping the rest into my hotel room along with my laptop, iPad and passport. The trouble is I accidentally had a lunch, which turned into a pool party, and resulted in a trip to a yacht. In the morning, I awoke to find none of the above items in my possession, nor was my phone. Using a borrowed phone, I got our IT manager to run a ‘find my phone’ search, and he suggested it seemed to be in the middle of the port. This meant a half-hour walk along yacht row listening out for the pinging tone of a lost phone. 

Incredibly, it was right at the end of Yacht Row, on the Daily Mail boat, that I managed to find everything I had lost, including all 4000 euros! I was so relieved that I sat down in the nearest cafe for a calming quick beer, when a moped flew past, and my phone got stolen. After everything, I reckoned that was an acceptable level of loss.

Tony Marlow, CMO of Genius Sports 

For mistakes, mine are mostly practical. Cannes is not the place to discover your shirt is more absorbent than breathable. When it’s hot and you’re doing 25,000 steps a day, fabric choice matters.

Air con is also king. Wherever you’re staying, if the room is cool, quiet and you can actually sleep, you can achieve almost anything.

And find your coffee source early. Cannes runs on jet lag, minimal sleep and “one quick drink” somehow becoming 3 a.m.

Julia Linehan, founder and CEO of The Digital Voice

I’ve been to Cannes Lions in the full-on rosé-schoozing era (certainly, in my boozing era) and now as a sober lush the last half decade. Honestly, the biggest mistake is still letting alcohol run the whole show. It leads to dodgy decisions, blurry memories, and those brutal multi-day hangovers that wipe out half your week — missing panels, chats, and all the good stuff.

I used to fly home absolutely knackered with barely any recall. Now I come back buzzing, having actually gone to everything on my packed schedule, remembered it all, and made proper connections. The best ideas and deals really do happen when you’re clear-headed. Just saying… we can keep the fun without the fuzzy aftermath.

Emma Newman, CRO of PubMatic 

I once said yes to attending three lunches at the same time on the same day (without checking my calendar), so I arranged for them all to be in the same restaurant and I joined each meeting for one course — not a method of multi-tasking that I would recommend for your waistline or your liver.

Jeff Fagel, CMO of Jamloop 

Everyone asks about the ROI of Cannes. But the real success metric is ROAC: Return on Air Conditioning. If your guests are sweating through your panel, they’re not absorbing your message, they’re planning their escape.

Richard Ottoy, svp of sales in EMEA at Assertive Yield

For those attending Cannes Lions for the first time this year, it is common to over schedule your diary with meetings to justify the trip. While the festival is an excellent venue for connecting with existing clients and advancing prospects, much of its true value lies in the serendipitous connections made during content sessions and networking happy hours.

Antonia Faulkner, head of corporate comms and ads marketing, analytics and insights EMEA at Samsung Ads

One of my biggest early mistakes at Cannes Lions was underestimating the distance along the Croisette. I’d schedule a meeting at the Carlton and the next one at the yachts, thinking it would be a quick stroll. In reality, it’s a long, hot and busy walk — and taxis don’t help, as you’ll usually just sit in traffic. Now I always check distances in advance, wear comfortable shoes, and build in proper buffer time. There’s an incredible amount of content at Cannes that often goes unnoticed. Time and again, people say, “I wish I’d known that was happening — I’d have loved to see it.” It’s a rare chance to hear from some of the brightest minds across media and beyond. Meetings matter, but it’s worth carving out time to listen, too.

Renata Neumann, head of production in North America at GUT 

I once RSVP’d yes to every single invitation I received and decided I’d figure out my schedule once I got there. Catastrophic. I missed most of what I’d committed to, left people genuinely annoyed (some of whom had held a seat for me at a paid dinner) and didn’t fully enjoy anything. Cannes only works if you plan it before you land. Say yes intentionally, not optimistically.

Justine Karp, vp at UTA and MediaLink

The best meeting I had at Cannes my first year wasn’t on my calendar. I also have absolutely no idea who it was with — because I did what everyone does and told myself I’d follow up Monday. I didn’t. Monday is a graveyard of Cannes intentions. The mistake I kept making was treating the spontaneous run-ins as a bonus instead of the main event. Once I figured that out, everything changed. Now I send the LinkedIn request while I’m still standing there. It takes 11 seconds, and it’s the only thing that separates a great conversation from a great story you can’t quite verify. Some of the most valuable relationships I have today started as an unplanned 20 minutes on the Croisette — and I almost let all of them walk away.

Alex Kozloff, director of industry relations at Interactive Advertising Bureau U.K.

My biggest mistake was thinking everyone else was having a better Cannes than me. You see people posting photos from yachts and beach parties and assume you’re doing it wrong. The reality is that most people are also trying to find their next meeting, wondering if they’ve missed something important and looking for somewhere to sit down for five minutes.

Fahim Ferdous, co-founder of AdQuick 

One of my favorite Cannes memories came after meeting an Argentinian filmmaker and his team, who had just won an award. We got to talking and hit it off immediately. Nearby, there was this massive beach party, think festival-sized stage, DJ, thousands of people. A fence stretched along the beach, blocking the entrance unless you went through the water. So we rolled up our pants, waded into the Mediterranean, walked around the fence, and ended up partying until the early hours of the morning. The best part? Once we got there, everyone was incredibly welcoming. It’s a good reminder that Cannes rewards curiosity and spontaneity, sometimes the best experiences happen when you simply say yes.

Matt Barash, chief commercial officer at creative ad tech platform Nova

One of my stranger Cannes mistakes was not taking credit for an industry meme account I was repeatedly accused of running. What amazed me wasn’t the rumor itself, but the number of high-profile CEOs and executives who knew the handle and unabashedly approached me, convinced I was the mastermind behind it. I wish I were that witty and had that much free time, but the accusations always gave me a laugh and an instant point of connection. In hindsight, maybe I should’ve just owned it.

Ryan Afshar, vp of publishers and platforms at LG Ad Solutions

“One mistake I made early on was agreeing to a panel first thing on Thursday morning. By that point in the week, your voice is usually on its last legs or, in my case, one year, completely gone. A colleague had to track down some industrial-strength throat medicine just to get me through it and stop me from sounding like an ASMR channel streaming on a very bad connection.

“Most importantly, keep a close eye on your surroundings on those late-night walks back from the Gutter Bar and keep your phone in your pocket rather than out navigating Google Maps. There are opportunistic thieves looking to prey on tired, slightly worse-for-wear industry folk. A couple of years ago, I inadvertently helped prevent someone I knew from being robbed just by being in the right place at the right time.

David Geisinger, marketing technology, data and operations offering Leader at Deloitte Digital

My biggest Cannes mistake? Treating day one like day four. The first year I attended, I packed my schedule from breakfast meetings through to late-night beach parties, convinced I could power through on adrenaline alone. By Wednesday, I was exhausted, overheated and surviving on espresso. I also made the rookie error of wearing stylish shoes instead of practical ones. After miles of walking, I was regretting almost every fashion decision I’d made, except my rockstar hat.

Frederic Taillier, managing director of impact.com in France and Spain

My first Cannes mistake was joining a Norwegian delegation on a 6 a.m. flight, watching them drink vodka at sunrise, and trying to keep up with five days of non-stop, eight-hour-long private rooftop parties. It was exhausting and frankly too much. Since then, the entire industry mentality has shifted. The era of pure, wild excess is fading, replaced by a much healthier focus on genuine networking. My advice to first-timers? Don’t get sucked into the “marathon drinking” trap. You can build the exact same deep industry connections over a morning coffee or a beach walk without ruining your liver.

Max Von Weber, founder and CEO at adnomaly

My Cannes rookie mistake? Totally underestimating the yacht shuffle. You are constantly taking your shoes off to board, then straight back on again for the next one. After a full day of that, you start to notice just how much effort it takes to squeeze your feet into tight shoes or the angst of undoing and doing up laces. By the end of the week, even your fingers can feel it.

Jon Mew, CEO at the Interactive Advertising Bureau U.K.

My rookie mistake was believing I could do everything. Every session, every party, every breakfast, every dinner. By day three, I was running on caffeine and good intentions. Cannes rewards curiosity, but not FOMO. Pick the events that matter, make time to recharge and accept you’ll miss things. Also, nobody outside Cannes wants to hear how tired you are while you’re posting rosé and beach clubs on social media. And definitely don’t call your wife from an event so she can join in the fun. Trust me on that one.

Matt Longley, CEO at Mobsta

There will always be a dinner, a party, a terrace, a yacht, or a WhatsApp group you’re not part of. That’s just Cannes. You won’t get to everything, and I’m not sure trying to is a particularly good use of the week anyway. And remember to make the most of the interesting people at the festival, and not only speak to the people you could have caught up with back in London.

Have one to add? Send your Cannes confession to seb@digiday.com.