How Ad Buyers Really Get Sold

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The Jeans / Sneaker Party
The strategy: A tried and tested classic. Take a team of buyers to purchase tailored jeans or to customize sneakers from Niketown.
Pros: Good facetime, cheap and easy, free swag for you, too.
Cons: It’s a bit “2007.” Most buyers have been there, done that.

Soul Cycle
The strategy: Get fit and talk media. Everybody wins.
Pros: Cheap, easy, popular with the ladies.
Cons: Depending on your fitness level, it can be tough to pitch while you’re gasping for air. A post-cycle drink is therefore recommended.

Apple Picking
The strategy: Forget the orchard; take buyers to your local Apple store to pick a new iPad or iPod touch.
Pros: Popular with buyers because Apple gear is expensive.
Cons: Unpopular with your boss because Apple gear is expensive.

The Shopping Trip
The strategy: Some buyers don’t like Niketown or Apple, so cut to the chase and ask them where they do like to shop.
Pros: Buyer satisfaction practically guaranteed, time and cost-effective.
Cons: Traipsing up and down Fifth Avenue.

The Summer House
The strategy: Rent a house in the Hamptons, fill the pool with buyers and booze, watch the IOs roll in.
Pros: Lots of facetime, beer pong and potential for nudity. Easy to “leverage” with buyers by inviting existing clients only.
Cons: Expensive, time consuming, potential for nudity.

Dinner and Drinks
The strategy: Sometimes the old ones are the best. Steak dinners and martinis have been selling media for years, and that won’t change any time soon. Remember: Always stay two drinks behind.
Pros: Easy, predictable, great facetime.
Cons: Some buyers would rather get in and out quickly with a pair of jeans than sit through a two-hour, three-course meal. Use judgement.

Gift Cards / Booze
The strategy: Another classic. Deliver iTunes gift certificates, pre-loaded debit cards or bottles of booze to buyers’ offices. Accompany with your marketing collateral and perhaps an amusing note.
Pros: A good way to get the attention of buyers that don’t really like hanging out with you.
Cons: Doesn’t guarantee facetime or a response.

Lighten the Workload
The strategy: Media buyers are overworked, so why not lighten the load and offer to do some of it for them?
Pros: It’s easy to make sure your company’s on a media plan when you’re the one writing it.
Cons: More work for you, and agency bosses and clients aren’t always as excited about this one as the planners.

The Strip Club Outing
The strategy: This one pretty much does what it says on the tin. Just remember to have your card charged in the adjoining steakhouse as opposed to the club itself.
Pros: Can prove very effective with male-heavy agencies and teams.
Cons: Often expensive, sometimes a less popular option among female buyers.

Drugs
The strategy: Scoring drugs can be seedy and expensive; some media buyers would rather have you do it for them.
Pros: Long nights mean more facetime.
Cons: Potential for jail time and/or bodily harm if executed poorly.

Sex
Strategy: If it needs explaining, this tactic probably isn’t for you.
Pros: Extremely effective if executed properly and carefully.
Cons: This tactic should only be used a handful of times if you don’t want your reputation to precede you, although it can prove even more effective if it does.

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