Mark Duffy has written the Copyranter blog for 10 years and is a freelancing copywriter with 20-plus years of experience. His hockey wrist shot is better than yours.
Goldman Sachs just gave ad tech startup Persado $30 million to play with to create better ad copywriting software. Automated copywriters have arrived and are connecting with consumers. Human copywriters, you best get searching for a new career, STAT.
Persado says their “cognitive content platform” can “generate a precise combination of words, phrases, and images … arming brands with ‘smart content’ that resonates with any audience, every time, and inspires them to act.”
Receiving less press has been the AdBot 9000. The 9000 is the shell of a 1930s robot named Alpha. But we have stuffed it with proprietary tech that enables it to access the entire internet for copy. All you have to do is tell it which brand, and it spits out the copy on its digital screen in less than one second. For effect, it “reads” the copy in its original voice.
Here are a few test copy examples. There are still a few bugs:
“Don’t drink beer from a glass; drink Stella Artois from a chalice. Why a chalice? That’s why Stella Artois is reassuringly expensive, affluent person. Do you want to also hashtag be legacy, affluent person? Then, keep drinking Stella Artois from a chalice and you will hashtag be legacy. Please do not hashtag be wife-beater, affluent person.”
“CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? GOOD. CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? GOOD. CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? GOOD. CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? GOOD. CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? GOOD. We never don’t stop not working for you.”
Axe body spray
“Do you like the way I smell, baby? I smell like ‘Anarchy‘ baby. I sprayed my whole body with Anarchy. Sex with me is a riot, baby. Have you ever been banged by Anarchy, baby? Don’t you want to smell like post-coital nihilism, baby? Even angels fall for me, baby. That’s the Axe Effect, baby.” (Ad Tech note: It is rather disturbing that a robot zeroed in on the word “Anarchy.”)
“I’m lovin’ it! Lovin’ beats hatin’. Two all-beef patties special sauce, let us sleaze. You deserve a break today and a Mac tonight. Make that a McWhopper. McWhat? You got a supersize beef with Ronald? Go get a McJob, King nothing.”
“Cadillac is not a car for French people. It is a car for hardworking rich-ass Americans who want to hashtag dare greatly. Only those who hashtag dare greatly drive the world forward. And only people who drive Cadillacs dare greatly. Because their love is bigger than a Honda, it’s bigger than a Subaru …”
“Always pads absorb 10 times their weight but feel like nothing. Nothing is impossible. Impossible is nothing. Impossible like a girl. Throw like a girl, hit like a girl, run like a girl, bleed like a girl, kiss like a girl, girl like a girl. Hashtag like a girl. Girls rule, boys drool. Always exploit girls’ insecurities … like a boy.”
“Find your beach. Find your beach. Find your beach. No sand? OK No water? OK. No sun? OK. No Corona? No beach. Find your beach. HASHTAG FIND YOUR BEACH. FIND YOUR BEACH, BITCH. FIND YOUR BITCH…” [The 9000 is shutdown and rebooted.]
“I’m a Mac not a PC. That’s because I think different [sic]. This changes everything. And now this changes everything. Again. The only thing that’s changed is everything. If it’s not an iPhone it’s not an iPhone. But there’s one more thing. Na-na boo-boo go stick your head in doo-doo.”
After a few tweaks, The AdBot 9000 will be ready to write your brand’s new kickass copy hopefully by early 2017. The fees will vary.
Actual true footnote: The real Alpha once inexplicably shot its inventor, Harry May, in the hand. Luckily, it was just a blank.
WTF is the global privacy control?
Although Do Not Track failed as an effort to make it easier for people to opt out of being tracked and targeted online, its spirit lives on in the Global Privacy Control.
Why one agency is drawing inspiration from Jesus and avocados for Super Bowl marketing
Lerma's founder and CEO talks about the relevance of a multicultural marketing approach, the growing influence of Hispanic culture and more.
Google-Meta duopoly continues to creak in their ‘heightened maturity’ as Amazon, Apple ascend
The shadow both Apple and Amazon have cast over advertising dollars is getting longer by the quarter.
SponsoredWhy Best Buy Ads sees retail media as integral to its customer-centric purpose
Sponsored by Best Buy Ads Retail media networks have become critical for marketers, with retailers investing in ways that enable advertisers to engage consumers across online and offline channels. Given the wealth of retailers’ first-party customer data and measurement capabilities, retail media networks have become a natural fit for augmenting performance marketing programs. Alongside the […]
Why advertisers are still making space for experimental budgets even with economic uncertainty
Even in the midst of economic uncertainty, advertisers are bullish on experimental ad spend.
Marketers move beyond the basics of ChatGPT with new tools
Companies are setting their sights past OpenAI's free version and integrating their own data sets for new ads, bots and idea generators.